Poetry

I have always been an amateur poet for as long as I can remember from prose to lyrics when I wrote songs and music for various groups. Here is a collection of my poetry.

He Who Hath An Ear

He who hath an ear let him hear!
Never fear your God is here!
The end is near shed no more tears!
Everything is as it was foretold!
Be ye hot or be ye cold!
But never mild or rotten like mold!
But above all know you were told!

The church is upside down
Run by capitalist clowns
When Jesus saw the money changers in the temple
We all know how He reacted and He set an example!
They replace love with hate.
They rule with an iron fist and mandate.
There is nothing Christ like among these “Christians”
These bigots, these fascist authoritarians.
Heed not their bigoted propaganda nor their lack of mercy
They know nothing of the Lord they say they are with His clergy.

In Revelations it is written in the last church age the church will be upside down.
So we are here and what is more upside down than trading love for hate and smiles with with a frown.
Its hard to hold hands with them when their hands are fists
They don’t spread the love of Christ. They put people on lists.
Jesus would want His Christians flipping tables not taking seats at them.
Since its clear many churches have made their choice tis time for people to rise up and take the helm!
Oppose the hate, the tyranny, the Nazis among you!
Do not give into the voices of oppression and hate its up to you!

Rotting In My Cage

There in this self built cage
I seeth and I rot in my own rage
I struggle through each grief stage
All the grief loss and all the despair
All the times that it was too much to bear.

God can you hear me?
Is there anyone out there?
Why do they all stop and stare?
Knock knock! Whose there? Just another intrusive thought.
Just another voice that I allow to take up space that I bought.
Choosing to believe the lies they spew that they speak.
The hypocrisy of it all really reaks.

But I can’t change anything can I?
Society will rot and we can’t change it.
All we can do is say that we aren’t for it.
That we stand against it. That it isn’t who we are
But who are we if not what our society reflects?
What are we if not a united people of defects?

Who Am I Now?

Losing myself in a sea of anxiety,
My life is full of sorrow and tragedy.
Who am I again? Am I who you want me to be?
Look in the mirror but whose that looking back at me?
These thoughts feel so strange
As they race through my brain
I can feel everything change.
The trauma the pain
Have driven me insane.
Who am I what am I anymore?
A monster a survivor of an internal war?
I used to think I knew who I was and what I was meant to do.
I used to have hobbies and things that I liked to too.
But explosion after explosion of trauma rocked my little world
Until all that was left of me was a meaty husk
Who am I what am I anymore?
A monster a survivor of a spiritual war.

PURPOSE

Sitting under the big blue sky
I sigh as I relies I don’t know anymore.
I’ve changed, I’m different, not the same as before!
I’ve developed better habits but have been more shut in
I’ve learned to dissociate and cope but not quit and heal within.
My sanity hangs by a thread
That’s made of purpose without which Id be dead.
So I cling to the thing that makes me feel alive.
I’ve struggled hard just to survive
I’ve struggled to lead to live just to survive
What keeps me going, what gives me drive.
I want to regain that feeling that desire to be alive.
To do more than just survive to THRIVE!

They Want Your Soul

They want to tell you what to believe.
They want to tell struggling migrants to leave.
They only care about control
They want to own your soul.

They try to crush our spirits and destroy our pride.
They want us to run for cover. They want us to hide.
Its time to stand up and pick a side.
Its time to stand against these theist thugs and their Red Tide.

They bathe in the blood of the innocent.
They don’t care about you that’s apparent.
They will stop at nothing short of total control.
They want to own you mind, body and soul.

The World Doesn’t Owe You

The world doesn’t owe you because you’re pretty.
The world doesn’t owe you because you’re nice.
The world isn’t all rainbows, sugar and spice.
The world doesn’t care how smart you think you are.
The world doesn’t care if you drive a heap or a shiny new car.
The world isn’t your oyster, it isn’t your friend.
It’s time you came back to reality. It’s time your fantasy came to an end.
Get your head out of the clouds lest you trip on a rock.
Don’t be a mindless sheep wandering about a mindless flock.
See things for how they are not how you wish them to be.
The truth may be hard for you to swallow but only it will set you free.

A Shelf Full Of Bottles

I keep a shelf full of bottles that I’ve collected over the years.
I keep a shelf full of bottles full of thousands of my own tears.
I keep a shelf full of bottles all neatly in a line.
I keep a shelf full of bottles to remind me of a better time.

I have a shelf full of bottles these ones I don’t keep,
But instead I allow the poison into my veins and liver to seep.
I have a shelf full of bottles kept neatly in a line.
I have a shelf full of bottles to help me forget about a better time.

My bottles are always contradicting,
And I seem to be self inflicting,
A sort of amnesia if you will.
That comes from the cabinets by the window sill.

Awake Athena

Awake, awake oh mighty Athena, feared and honored goddess of war!

Awake, awake for America has spread its legs far and wide like a whore!

She has sold her soul for oil, money and power!

She has set out to kill, maim, and devour.

Awake, awake Athena for now is the time,

To punish this nations leaders for their hellish crime!

For the price of blood is cheap and the cost of oil is high!

Our leaders have no honor! They allow the innocent to die!

Awake, awake Athena! Show us the power of peace!

Move us! Shake us! Make these wars cease!

For we fight for a cause that is not just,

And our country has become consumed with greed and eaten up with lust!

Awake, awake oh mighty goddess and cause us to bow!

Awake Athena the time is finally here! The time is now!

Do You Still Love Me ?

I look across the room and what do I see?

A beautiful angel staring right back at me.

Looking into her eyes I knew right from the start,

That she had a hold on my soul and had captured my heart.

Well now I’m left to sing… Well I miss you more each day,

And I don’t know what to say,

Cause words can’t explain the way we were meant to be.

Well are you still in love with me?

Well we walked across the beach on a starry night,

And we held each-other tight till the morning’s light.

We passed a sea of people and stood together above the bay.

Well this is how I feel inside so its only right for me to say…

Well I miss you more each day, And I don’t know what to say,

Cause words can’t explain the way we were meant to be.

Well are you still in love with me?

Well I still got your number written on an old bus pass,

It reminds me of your smile, our love, and our golden past,

And as I write this song waiting for you to one day return.

The fire deep in my heart and soul begins to burn.

And I sing… Well I miss you more each day,

And I don’t know what to say,

Cause words can’t explain the way we were meant to be.

Well are you still in love with me? Cause words can’t explain how much you mean to me.

Oh darlin please tell me that you still love me.

Dreaming of You

With my head upon my pillow I shut my eyes.
In slumber and in deep sleep my spirit begins to rise.
I am carried far away from the cares of this world.
To a sacred place of the ancients. A sacred place of old.
A place of inlightenmant, wisdom, peace and love.
A place of purity, a place of perfection, a place far above.

Here in this place I see with different eyes,
A brighter horizon and clearer skies.
Here in this place I hear with different ears,
Music that is so beautiful it brings me to tears.
Here in this place I feel with smoother, younger skin,
Pure, ecstacy from without and within.
Here in this place I run with different, faster legs, lift with different, stronger arms, speak with a different, more fluent tongue.
Here in this place of perfect bliss I sit bathing in the glow of the warm, sweet summer sun.

Not more than 20 yards away under the shade of a cherry tree,
My eyes catch a glimpse, and I can’t believe what they so clearly see.
There you sit my love, your heart calling to mine.
Your hair is soft and blowing in the wind and you have the wings of an angel divine.
Is this a dream? My head says yes but my heart says no.
Hold me my love. Hold me tight and never ever let me go.

Suddenly rising to your feet you fly to me swooping me up in your arms.
With a rush I’m overtaken once more by your girlish charms.
Your lips meet mine while we stand suspended in time.
Hanging in the air I taste a bitter taste…like that of lime.
The world around me crumbles as I desperately try to hold on to you.
Why is this happening? Where the fuck did I go wrong? What the fuck did I do?
Suddenly I’m in my room kissing an old nasty wooden broom.
I guess the dream just had to end. It ended way too soon.

Every night I dream of you my love.
Every day I think of you my gentle dove.
One day I hope my dreams will all come true.
Because I’de give anything and everything just to be with you.

Dreams

While you may think dreams are viscious and they deceive you until the end,
I think their delicious, sweet and tangy as reality bends.
They take everything you know and shift it all around.
They defy the laws of gravity, nature, even sound.
Just when you think your up your really down.
Just when you think your in a crowd take a second look, theres no one around.
Dreams come in many flavors, colors, and in every shape.
Some you can wish away. Others you can’t escape.
Sometimes your the victom, sometimes your the hero who saves the day.
Sometimes you know everything and sometimes you don’t know what to say.
Yes dreams, to me at least, are all together a delight.
They are the color, the excitement, the thrill and attraction of the night.

Failure Leads to Winning

Failure Leads To Winning

You hypnotized me with your eyes.

You hypnotized me with your lies.

You pulled me into the black hole that is you.

You devoured all that I was, all that I knew.

If I was weak I’d hate you for all eternity.

But my eyes are open and now I see.

You released me.

I am free.

You have given me back my wings that I might fly.

Though my soul may sigh and cry it will not die.

With every bitter end comes a new begginning.

Failure only increases the chances of winning.

Fragile

Whose that girl with the fake smile and sadly glazed eyes.

Who is she underneath her mask and her ever clever disquise.

Shes too afraid to let it all out. Shes too afraid to cry.
She remains distant and silent. Shes obviously very shy.
She just sits by her phone and waits for somoene to call,
But as time passes slowly ticking by it doesn’t ring at all.
She trys hard to hold back her sentamental tears in a crowded city subway.
Theres so much she needs to let out. Theres so much she wants to open up and say.
Shes fragile. Her heart is ripped open, bleeding, and starting to ache.
Shes fragile. I think shes on her way…I think shes about to break.

The little boy next door just sits on his front porch all day.
With his head burried in his hands he trys hard to look away,
From a drunk ass dad beats him down and then up every night,
And a strung out pair of parents that do nothing but constantly fight.
His birth parents passed over last year in a cruel and devistating car crash.
His mom was shit faced drunk and his dad had smoked just a little too much hash.
So he just sits there on the front porch. He doesn’t know what to say.
He hates his retched life. He hates himself. He curses the light of day.
Well hes fragile. I don’t really know how much more this boy can take.
Hes fragile. I think his hearts about to shatter. I think hes about to break.

A teenage girl sits on a city park bench trying hard not to cry.
Her heart is broken and she wishes she could just fall over and die.
She gave her innocents and her heart to a boy that promised her the moon.
She thought it would last forever. She thought it would never end this soon.
Now shes sixth months pregnant with his son and hes nowhere to be found.
Her heart and soul are crying out, there screaming. “Why couldn’t he stick around!’
Her parents disowned her and the boys just pass her by. Shes alone.
Her friends call her a slut and theirs nothing but trouble at home.
Shes fragile. Its not something she can hide, its nothing something she can fake.
Shes fragile. I think shes juts about ready…I think shes just about ready to break.

An old man sits in a rocking chair with his dog faithfully sitting by his side.
Theres noene around, noene to talk to about how he feels deep down inside.
His wife died last year of lung cancer and he still thinks of her often. He misses her so.
His memory is fading. Who is this? Whose left of his family. He can’t tell nor does he know.
So he talks to himself, he talks to his dog, he talks to the air, and he cries himself to sleep at night.
He gets on his knees, looks up at heaven, and then prays that the end will come and erase the daylight.
Hes broken, tattered, and torn. Hes misereably lost in his old age. Hes now alone.
Hes fragile. Age has caused his whole world to quiver, shift, and shake.
Hes fragile. I think soon he will whither, his strength will fade, he will break.

Well my dear loving mother died when I was young. When I was only four months old.
The night my father killed my innocent mother to the devil his soul was tragically sold.
Those who took me in and adopted me betrayed me and institutanalized me.
They never understood my pain for their eyes were blind and they could not see.
Once upon a time I was ready to be wed. I was ready to give her my life.
Then just before our son could be born into this world our love sadly became strife.
Now I miss my son Tristan. I miss him so that I cry myself to sleep most every night.
I curse myself for opening up and for being so careless. I curse the retched day light!
Well I’m fragile. I don’t know how much more I can push. I don’t know how much more I can take.
Well I’m fragile. Please hold me up, sew me together, and please don’t let me break.

He’s Still Got A Dream

As a boy he sang in the choir.
Worshiping nothing but his desire.
To play rock and roll,
so when he was twelve he sold his soul.

Hear him as he sings…

Sir could you spare just a moment of your time?
I just wrote this riff. I just wrote this rhyme.
I can make these strings sing and every note ring.
I might not look like much, but it isn’t as easy as it may seem.
Sure, I’m just a boy, but I’m a boy with a dream.

As he grew older it was all about Friday night.
Getting high and playing until the mornings first light.
People loved to hear him play.
They always asked him to stay.
He was on his way to fame or so it would seem.
A teenage boy who was working hard for his dream.

So as he grew older fame seemed to slowly slip away.
Soon less and less people demanded to hear him play.
Still he kept playing bars and street corners wherever he could.
He sang and danced wherever it was he sat, wherever it was he stood.
Some fans stood loyal and were forever by his side,
But unfortunately the public sort of pushed him aside.

So you can hear him say still to this very day:

Pass me the bottle! I know I’ve got the time,
To sit and play this guitar for you and write another rhyme,
I’m half the man I once was. I’m broke, can you spare a dime?
I’ll never stop dreaming, because to dream is divine.
Oh, can you spare some change for a broken old man.
His fingers are stiff but he’s doing all that he can.
He can make those strings sing and every not ring.
That’s because that old man, he’s still got a dream.

Headed For A Fall

Theres an old man in the corner preaching on a box,
He says, “You better listen to me or else its your loss!”
He says, “Your gonna burn for all eternity!
If you don’t stop and listen to me!”

Well I turned around and said,

“Your headed for a fall!
Because you think you know it all.
So go ahead and spread your lies,
Create your own demise.
Because your headed for a fall.”

Well a rich man approached me. He said his name was Tim.
He said, “Give up your dreams child. You know you can’t win!”
He said, “Come and work for me,
And I’ll make you as rich as can be!”

Well I turned to him and said,

“Your headed for a fall!
Because you think you know it all.
So go ahead and spread your lies,
Create your own demise.
Because your headed for a fall.”

Hold Me Dark Angel And Never Let Me Go

Wallowing in a sea of tears
Surrounded by a swirling whirlpool of all my worst fears,
I’m being slowly dragged farther and farther down,
drowning as the silence slowly creeps into my ears.
The music that once so clearly in my heart forever played has faded far, far away,
I’m left without so much as a guitar to sit, muse, and play.
I sit a wretched broken man. I’m slowly drowning in a pool of my own tears.
Pondering all my sins, my deepest regrets, and the pain of the last 2 years.

Reflections of my jaded past,
Flash before my eyes so fast.
I never thought I’d be here so alone.
I cry as I struggle to pick up the phone.
I’m numb and long to find some rest,
In deaths dark eternal nest.
Will someone please come and and show me love…oh please someone hold me!
I think I’m going blind now…my eyes are to blurry from these tears to see.

Hold me in your wings dear dark angel of my dreams.
Hold me in your wings tonight.
Hold me in your wings dear dark angel of my dreams.
Just hold me in your loving arms tonight.

Cause I’m broken and I’m spilled out…scattered across the floor.
My heart is worn, tattered, stitched up and can’t take any more.
So hurt me not my sweetest friend…be there when I’m down.
Pick me up and never let me go…tell me you’ll always be around.

Your eyes light a fire in the deepest part of me.
Your smile warms my heart and its so easy for you to see.
That I love you with all my heart with every broken shard.
I only wish this dream could last. Letting go of you is just so hard.
Love is an illusion that will fade away in time.
Its bitter sweet and tangy allot like lemon lime.
Only in my dreams can I be with you my love.
My blessing, my dark angel sent to me from above.

Hold me close and never let me go.
Do you love me darling?Please, I really need to know.
Cause I’m searching for the one that who forever will be mine.
I’m searching for a love thats strong and will stand the test of time.
I’ll keep you safe and hold you close so fret not my love.
My dear dark angel from above.

Hold Me While I Shake

One step forward and two steps back.
The more I gain the more I lack.
Searching, crawling forward now and fading so very fast.
My only goal is to finish, even if I finish last.
I’ll vanquish the demons that oppress me with words from the heart.
I’ll weave the tapestry of success, I’ll move the world with my art.
But in the end I’ll be lost in the revolution, lost in the quake.
So hold me close, someone! Hold me while I shake.

Life Is A Roller Coaster

Every rose has its thorn.
In pain a beautiful child is born.
There is no yin without a yang.
There is no “proper” without “slang”.

There is no life without death and there is no death without life.
There is no gain without pain and there is no peace without strife.
There is no good without the bad.
There is no happy without the sad.
There is no choas without balance.
There is no being sure without taking a chance.

So remember this my son. Listen to these words and be wise.
Stand up my child, whipe your tears no son…rise!
Sometimes your up, and when you are things aren’t as good as they appear.
Sometimes your down, and when you are the thought that you’ll never be up again fills your mind with fear.
Well the next time you feel like its all just too much and you want to run and hide.
Remember that lifes a roller coaster and you only get one crack at it. So sit back and enjoy the ride.

Little

Little hands and little feet.
A little smile I’m glad to meet.
Little eyes and little ears.
Little giggles and little tears.
A little soul. A little boy.
Mommy and Daddy’s pride and joy.
A little man is born today.
Hes ours to keep. Hes here to stay.

My Dear Dead Valentine

My throat is an open grave and my minds an endless hallway.
My lips are stitched together, my tongues too dead to say,
That I love you with all the pieces of my broken, tattered heart.
When does life truly begin where does death end and where does it start.

Feeling so cold and I doubt I’ll ever feel warm again.
I doubt my heart and mind will ever be able to transcend.
Because your dead now, gone now, you were taken from me.
Now my heart is shattered and my tired eyes refuse to see,
Why something so beautiful, something so pure,
Something that would have had a happy ending I’m sure,
Would be taken from me, please tell me your still mine.
Please cry out to me from the grave my dear dead valentine.

My Dieing Wish For My Bitter End

Slice my wrists and erase my past.
End my life and make it fast.
Empty my veins of the life therein.
This life of emptiness, this flesh made of lust, dust, and sin.

Grind my bones to dust and smash my eyes.
Slice and dice up my tongue and all its lies.
Burn my remains and scatter my ashes to the wind.
This is my dieing wish for my bitter end.

Tear these stitches I don’t want to ever mend.
Let me bleed, let me die, let me transform, let me transcend.
For these tired eyes need and ever seek the deepest rest.
Eternal sleep in deaths illusive, dark, and twisted nest.

So…

Grind my bones to dust and smash my eyes.
Slice and dice up my tongue and all its lies.
Burn my remains and scatter my ashes to the wind.
This is my dieing wish for my bitter end.

My Heart’s Only Prayer

As my tired eyes gaze ahead at the mountains set before me,
As I struggle, as I fight to be all that I’m suppose to be,
As the night turns to day and the day slowly fades into night,
As I’m stumbling, lost in the darkness, deep in the absence of light,
As I grow weary and faint, and as my skin turns deathly pale,
Can you hear my heart crying out in pain? Can you hear it wail?

As the tears flow from my stormy eyes like a flood,
As I slice my wrists and stand over this pool of blood,
As I lie here whispering and writing letters to the one who gave me life and now has tasted death,
As I hold, ponder, and then cherish the little bit of strength I have left.
As I grow weary and faint, and as my skin turns deathly pale,
Can you hear my heart crying out in pain? Can you hear it wail?

As the people praise the power of my words of poetry and song,
As they stir, as they move, and as they all sing along,
As they smile, as they gather closer and begin to dance,
As they pretend to get me just so they can reach down my pants.
As I bleed and suffer alone, as I cry out for affection, for a burning love,
As I wait for a voice, a soft whisper, a word of encouragement from an angel above.
As I grow weary and faint, and as my skin turns deathly pale,
Can you hear my heart crying out in pain? Can you hear it wail?

In the silence of the night I pray…

Oh Goddess above breathe into the deepest part of me.
Lift me up and hold me close, open my eyes so I can see.
Guide my steps and light my way for I’m hopelessly lost in this world.
My thoughts and emotions are a blur as down a downward spiral their hurled.

I’m left alone yet once again. This time I’m desolate and deranged.
Left alone in a world thats shifted, twisted, and rearranged.
The things I hold dear always seem to disappear.
Oh Goddess, will you please help me, lend me your keenest ear.
As my heart begins to bleed yet once again I drop my head and shed a tear.
As I grow weary and faint, and as my skin turns deathly pale,
Can you hear my heart crying out in pain? Can you hear it wail?

In the silence of the night I pray…

I’m a muse on mute, a skipped track, a silent and sad song.
I don’t know how I got here and how everything went so sudenly and severely wrong.
So excuse me while I sling this ink deep into my skin,
Beautifully illustrating the wretched pain that dwells within.
I pierce my flesh and I make a habit of spiking my hair.
People are forced to stop and in shock blankly stare.
The scars you see on these wrists of mine are smaller than those that lie across this man’s heart.
Is this where it all ends or is this just where we all have to start?
As my heart bleeds, I drop my head and I shed another tear.
Oh Goddess, will you please help me, hear my heart’s cry, its gentle plea, Oh dear Goddess please hear my heart’s only prayer!

No Forgiveness

She said, “Son don’t go! Don’t leave me right now! Your father never came back from the war!
“And I need you right now my son. I can’t lose you yet! I need you more than ever before.
To stop and realize that your government lies and this isn’t right.
Don’t suite up and leave me here alone tonight this isn’t your fight.
And I will have you know…

Theres no forgiveness for turning a blind eye, letting the innocent die, for replacing peace with war.
Theres no forgiveness for their crimes for they’ve left behind what they once stood for.
Theres no forgiveness.”

But he left on a jet plain,
In the pouring December rain,
Fom the little old state of Maine.
He left to make himself a name.
He left for fortune and fame.
He left his mother crying out in pain.

Crying out…

The shots rang out loud.
He got caught up in a cloud.
With a shutter he bowed.
He was no longer proud.
The blood poured from his chest,
Need I tell you the rest?
Then he whispered to his comrads who gathered round,
And as his mother with her hands raised to heaven sang out loud.

See You Soon

Sitting by my computer waiting patiently for a letter.
Hoping I’ll hear from you and then maybe I’ll feel better.
Because I’m sick and lost without your love my gentle morning dove.
You were given to me, sent to me, you flew down from far above.
I miss you like the dry desert misses the dew and the rain,
And my heart aches for you with a sharp uneasy pain.

So then I hear the news that you won’t be coming back.
Seems you were caught up in a crash and everything went black.
Well I’d give anything to have you here with me my dear,
Because now I just sit here lifeless drinking year after year.
Did I fail you? Was I not good enough?
I’m trying my love. I promised I’d be tough.
Could I have saved you if I had never let you go?
Oh my dear angel please tell my my love, say it isn’t so!

Now my heart is black as coal,
And I’ve given away my soul.
My head is growing dumb,
As my skin goes slowly numb.
I shed a thoughtful tear,
As I cry, “Why did you leave me here!”

Alone I sit in the corner in the cold and in the dark.
Its been forever since my heart felt that sweet spark,
Of love, of passion, of deep and earnest desire.
It’s been a long, long time since my soul was on fire.
Where have you gone my love and why?
Why did you leave my heart on the floor to die?
Come back to me my dear.
Whisper once more in my ear.
Say you love me still and hold me! Never let me go!
Say you aren’t gone forever my love! Say it isn’t so!

Well I hope you like these flowers. I got them just for you.
There purple, white, red, and yellow with just a hint of blue.
Are you happy now my love? Have you found eternal rest?
I wish you were here with me my love, but destiny knows best.
So as you lay there sleeping do you ever dream of me?
Do you ever stop and dream about the way it used to be?
Well its time for me to go now. Here I wrote you something sweet.
I’ll lay it here for now. Goodbye until one day we meet,
In that land of perfect peace and eternal joyful song.
Rest in peace my lover. I promise it won’t be very long.

Set Me Free

A picture is worth a thousand words, or at least that’s what I’ve been told.

But a picture of you is worth more to me than all the world’s weight in gold.

Cause you are the spark that ignites the fire inside of me.

Illuminate the dark and set my spirit free. You are the spark that ignites the fire inside of me.

You have the key to my heart so set me free.

With eyes like diamonds you draw me close,

Until your lips touch mine and were nose to nose.

A million butterflies flap their tiny wings,

As a chorus of heavenly angels gladly sing.

You are the spark that ignites the fire inside of me.

You have the key to my heart, so set me free.

You asked if our love will last and I think it might,

If we try hard to make things right after every fight,

To wipe away each-others each and every tear,

To be there for each-other year after year.

You are the spark that ignites the fire inside of me.

You have the key to my heart so set me free.

Shattered Shards Of A Broken Heart

Lying alone in this cold, dark, and lonely place,
Tucked away, hiding from the world, I allow the tears to flow softly down my face.
As the laughter, smiles, and good memories of distant past,
Flash through my mind and dimly fade like reflections in a poorly tinted glass.
I clench my pillow and hold it tight o’er my face and I cry out in pain,
As a sharp pain in my chest makes me toss and turn, as a gentle flow of tears turns to rain.

Little black tinted shattered shards of my broken heart lay scattered o’er the floor.
As I ask myself a question I must have asked myself a hundred times before.
“Will I ever love and be loved even just once, just once more?”
Little shattered shards of a heart once whole, now lay scattered o’er the floor.

If you see me with my head down and a hood o’re my grim and sickly pale face.
Its probably because I’m hiding from all the people and creating my own dark place.
Where I can sit and reflect on better times and happier rhymes,
Times when I had money and love…times when I didn’t have to fly signs for a few measly dimes.
Some say I’m a disturbed little boy with no direction left in his life.
But if you were to ask me I’d say I’m just hiding from all the misery, heart ache, drama, and strife.

Because…

Stitched Up & Caged

I’m all stitched up now. I have nothing more to say.
Oh well, fuck it! They didn’t want to hear it anyway!
All alone in my cell I sway with rage.
Alone in the shadows I’m locked in a cage.

My heart is black and my skin is numb.
I go through times where I feel blind, deaf, and dumb,
To the world around me though there it may be,
Yet I find myself paralyzed but what I see.

Waite! I feel something! It must have been left on the floor of my cage.
A pin, a razor blade and a tattered old page.
The last page of my journal or so it would seem to be.
My last chance to cry out and make all you people see.
That I used to sing and be happy.
I had love, money, and a family.
But thats all gone away now and I’m left here today.
I’m stitched up in my cage what more can I say.

I’ve stitched my heart back together and I’ve glued it shut.
Black it still beats and it pumps despite all these cuts.
Black blood flows underneath my flesh underneath my skin.
And these soulless eyes are but a mirror for what lies within.

So many lies, so much anger and so much hate.
What did I ever do to deserve this horrible fate?
So my friends I write to you from the depths of my cage.
I cry as I bleed out onto this page.

I cut to numb the pain of my tormented soul.
I’ve tried everything to fill this hole.
I’ve stitched up my life and I’ve stitched my mouth shut.
Say what you will. Yes, I’m a drugy, dreamer, nut!

Abuse me, use me, then throw me away!
Hell, I don’t give a damn about you anyway!
What place you once had in my life has long since died!
I wrote you off my list! I couldn’t stand the way you lied!

So I remain in my cage, safe from all of my fears.
And in this jar I hold all of my tears of my many wasted years.
My heart and mouth stitched together I’m silent with rage.
Locked away forever. Locked away in my cage!

Wake Me Up

Wake me up when this pain has passed.

Wake me up when love and passion last.

Wake me up when the sun’s rays smile upon the earth.

Wake me up to a new beggining, a new birth.

Wake me up when my tears have dried.

But untill then in slumber ill hide.

And this man will dream of better days.

While people continue their selfish ways.

While men and women like leeches suck eachother dry.

My eyes will be shut . My soul will rest, my soul will sigh.

What is Reality

Sitting in a misty haze of combulited thoughts.

All I’ve ever known is tied in a thousand knots.

Where the fuck am I? I can’t seem to remember this place.

Who the fuck is that in the mirror? I don’t know that face.

People are strange but my mind is a bit stranger.

I get a certain thrill out of death and danger.

I don’t want to live on the edge.

I want to jump over that ledge.

I want to soar with wings through the sky.

Living every moment like in the next I could die.

What is reality and who is it that decides what is real and what is not?

Who is it that dictates our dreams and tells us what we should have thought?

Is it a god? Is it another human? What makes them better than you?

What makes them so special that they get to dictate what it is you say and what it is you do?

Withering Away

I always had a smile that I was willing to share,
And there wasn’t a burden that I wasn’t willing to bare.
Put your tears in a bottle and I’ll keep it by my side.
Oh run to me my children, my arms are open wide.

As I say…

Oh won’t you hold me now while you still can
Cause I’m fading fast I’m withering.
Won’t you save me now while you still can.
Before this becomes my bitter end.
Well your too late, your too late.

I was always kind to you. I loved you from the start.
I fought to keep us together but you tore us all apart.
I was the bind, the spine, the family’s binding glue.
And now with pain in my eyes I turn and look up at you…

And I say…

Memories of holidays in a distant past,
Are all I have left of my children…tell me will it last?
Cause my mind is slowly slipping farther and farther away.
And soon my body will wither and decay.

And I say…

Oh lover how could you be so very blind?
I’ll bet you wish you could stop and push rewind.
You left me here to slowly die in the most painful way.
I curse you! I hate you! You mean to say you didn’t here me scream?

Oh won’t you hold me now while you still can
Cause I’m fading fast I’m withering.
Won’t you save me now while you still can.
Before this becomes my bitter end.
Well your too late, your just too damn late!

Woke Up Dead

Woke up this morning feeling cold and dead.
Woke up this morning with a coffin for a bed.
The day has turned into eternal night,
And I can’t find the switch, I can’t find the light.

Mirror mirror on the old brick wall,
Whose the pailest one of them all?
Looking into the mirror what is it I see?
A souless monster staring back at me.
His eyes comma white and sinking in.
His soul black and dead eat from within.
Cursed forever and fallen from grace.
I retreat to my coffin. I run to my lonely place.
Let me rest, let me sleep and never wake.
Let me dream of the past, the light, and let me dream for Hell’s sake.
Cause dreaming is all that this broken jaded man has left…

A Shelf Full Of Bottles

Awake Athena

Do You Still Love Me ?

Dreaming of You

Dreams

Failure Leads to Winning

Fragile

He’s Still Got A Dream

Headed For A Fall

Hold Me Dark Angel And Never Let Me Go

Hold Me While I Shake

Little

My Dear Dead Valentine

My Dieing Wish For My Bitter End

My Heart’s Only Prayer

No Forgiveness

See You Soon

Set Me Free

Shattered Shards Of A Broken Heart

Stitched Up & Caged

Wake Me Up

Withering Away

Woke Up Dead

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