The world, especially the US it seems, is in the middle of a male mental health crisis, and its getting worse not better. The good news is we have an opportunity to learn more about the needs and desires of men and how to help men live happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives. This crisis is a blessing in disguise because male mental health has gone largely ignored except when bad actors or people with severe mental health issues attack women or do something obscene. We need to be better than that and we can be better than that and help some of these men before they reach a crisis state and do something that hurts themselves or others and we as a society owe it to men to at least try.
Unfortunately there isn’t much space if any on the Left to speak about this issue. Democrats do terrible with men because they consistently focus completely and entirely on women’s issues. Male rights activists and those who stand up for the rights of men, fathers, little boys are often mocked, shunned, or ignored. I would know. I am one such man.
I have spoken up many times on Facebook, X, now BlueSky about the needs for us as a society to get rid of toxic gender roles for men and women. If we don’t assume women should be in the kitchen or doing laundry or housework or that they all want to be homemakers why do we automatically assume men will be protectors, breadwinners, providers, physically strong or more suited to do certain jobs around the house or in society? That’s a sexist double standard but common. We need to liberate men from these traditional sexist gender roles just like we have liberated women. If you don’t think so then you might be a sexist misandrist.
Men can be stay at home dads. Men don’t have to always be the ones to rise up and protect women or kids. Women can learn to defend themselves and their children AND THEY SHOULD. Men shouldn’t be expected to pay more in child support, more of the mortgage, for every date etc. but they are regularly. They shouldn’t be expected to give women half of their possessions in a divorce; women can work now and earn their own money. Men aren’t piggie banks and you aren’t “moving up” when you dump a nice guy for one with more money.
If we are to truly have equality in our society it is time that we stop with the double standards and be about actual equality. Its time we listen to men when they speak about their issues without mocking them, gaslighting them, changing the subject and/or otherwise dismissing their very real pains and concerns. Its time that people look at the facts I’ve been sharing with you, showing how men are struggling and in what areas so we can help men out of the dark place they are currently in. We should want to help men out of those dark mindsets and help them live happier healthier lives.
When we help men have better mental health we all win. Men with better mental health and who feel included and accepted by society are far less likely to commit violent crimes or be verbally abusive. They are much more likely to raise their children right. They are much more likely to be good spouses and loving partners. We should all want men to do better.
So, like I have many times before over the years, I’m going to show you some facts and as always give you links and screenshots to prove these are indeed facts. What you do with these facts is up to you. Will you dismiss male issues? Will you mock our pain? Will you continue to apply double standards when it comes to gender? Or will you finally recognize men are in a mental health crisis and they won’t get better unless we listen to them and support them more. The choice is yours but remember so are the consequences.
NOTE: These are not nearly all the issues men care about or face and males aren’t always the same in their needs and desires
Facts:
83% of parents with custody of their children are women. This number hasn’t changed more than 3% in over 80 years despite the feminist lie that “things are getting better for dads”. They are not. The Tender Years Doctrine was introduced by feminists to argue that children need their mothers to nurture them during the first few years of life. That was always a lie.
A father can nurture a child. Its just another example of a sexist gender role this one imposed on men. What actually happens is the child is learning to mirror its parents through mirror neurons and forming a lasting bond. The goal of these sexists was just break that bond between father and child and keep it strong between mother and child. They have succeeded and we must work to reverse laws in states that still use the Tender Years Doctrine and force 50/50 custody at birth with exceptions only for credible threats to the child’s well being and safety or the mother’s proven in a court of law.
That last part is important. Although the Tender Years Doctrine is supposedly not being used in a number of states now, it is. It is till being used because the bias against fathers still exists.
Census Data On Families:
https://www.census.gov/topics/families.html
To push back against people like me that speak up for fathers feminists have spread a lie that fathers are more abusive than mothers. The fact is the US Census would disagree. It is moms that abuse kids more than fathers. Access is likely to blame but you can’t say that men are inherently more abusive or fathers are. The numbers just don’t show us that.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/254893/child-abuse-in-the-us-by-perpetrator-relationship/
But being a father is only part of being a man. Not all men have children. Not all men want to have children and that too is fine. However this issue is near and dear to my heart as a disabled man that couldn’t afford to fight a sexist system to see my son after a cheater and abusive woman ran off with him and then dated a number of criminals. I watched as pedophiles, as meth heads and abusers had more access to my son than I did and the courts allowed it. The probation officer of one of her bfs who was arrested 4x for child molestation said he had more rights to my son than I did and mocked me for not being there in his life. I have spoken to many men, friends, people I’ve met, in similar situations. Not only did they take my son, they took my driver’s license. So when people like me can’t pay because we are disabled we punish them by taking their ability to drive away too. I don’t know how that helps them pay their child support or survive but the cruelty is just fine with many I suppose. I wonder sometimes how they would feel if they were the ones in my shoes.
Men are also struggling with depression. 75% of all suicides are male. I would argue the two subjects are related. 2/3 of all estranged parents seriously contemplate suicide. Since many men are estranged from their children we can assume that is driving up male suicide to record levels and has been for decades. Boys kill themselves 5x as much as girls and men 4x as much as women but we never talk about male suicide or male mental health unless we are beating men down with our statements. So struggling men don’t feel like they have anyone they can reach out to which makes their suicidal ideation even more dangerous.
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide
https://www.statista.com/statistics/1114191/male-suicide-rate-in-the-us-by-age-group/
So why don’t men just get themselves into therapy? Right? Surely there is help for men right? Well not exactly. 2/3 of all teachers and 2/3 of all therapists are women. So when men like me come forward to women like that they shut us down, gaslight us, mock our pain, tell us we are exaggerating or lying to defend other women. We just don’t get the kind of care that women do when they reach out to their teachers, mentors, and therapists. The bias against us makes it hard for us to get good care and to find therapists and teachers willing to listen to us instead of just get offended.
https://www.ambitionsaba.com/resources/therapist-statistics
So the next time you are tempted to tell a male in your life “just go to therapy” understand you are speaking from a position of great privilege. Yes, therapy can help men. Yes there are male therapists but they are rare. No it is not the same experience for us. We need more male teachers and male therapists to even it out.
Another issue men are struggling with is homelessness. 2/3 or 75% of all unhoused people are male. We simply do not have the housing we need for men. We give women and children preferential treatment. We have the resources in this rich country to help women, children, and men but we ignore the men and let them rot on the street or in a jail cell or prison which we will talk about next.
See the gendered stats here:
https://buymeacoffee.com/menneedtobeheard/men-make-75-homeless-population-let-talk-real-solutions
I don’t think I need to tell you that being homeless is bad for your mental health or your physical health. If we want men to get better we need to support those facing homelessness more. We need more shelter beds for men. We need battered men’s shelters for DV victims running from abusive women. Those practically don’t even exist adding to the male homeless population.
Lets talk about criminal justice. According to BOP men make up 93% of your adult prisoners, 88% of your children locked up are boys, men serve 2-3x the length women do for the same crimes; thats why the prison and jail populations are full of boys and men. Our society is much harder on boys and men and it shows. It causes us trauma sometimes life long trauma and injuries. We need to lock up far less men.
https://www.statista.com/chart/11573/gender-of-inmates-in-us-federal-prisons-and-general-population/
https://www.bop.gov/about/statistics/statistics_inmate_gender.jsp
So now we see that men struggle with housing more than women, suicide more than women, child custody more than women. This is why when men like me say men have issues that we care about that effect our gender that are not promoting equality and a fair society and are mocked we become angry. What if we did that to you women? Every time you came up with an issue you felt women aren’t treated fairly about we mocked you, gaslit you, ignored you, made sure you felt alienated in your own circles, homes, at work, in your political party. If we treated you the way you treat us how would that make you feel? Step outside of yourself for a second and learn to have some empathy.
I am more than furious at the Democrats who assume people like me voted for Trump or didn’t vote for a woman simply because I have a penis and I speak up for abused men, boys, and our rights. That is sexism. It is disgusting. It isn’t ok. It won’t be tolerated. Sexist tropes like Bernie Bros and Obama Boys may seem harmless to you, but they show us men and Progressives really that you have no respect for us. That you don’t deserve our votes.
I really hope the Left figures out how to accept that men have issues too. More than I just mentioned. We have problems that need legislative fixes just like women do. We have pain and suffering that should not be ignored, mocked, and dismissed. We need support just like anyone else and we aren’t getting it. I don’t have the time or energy to go into the high school drop out rates, or the fact that women are graduating college twice as much as men, or that they now own more homes than men. The world has changed and largely left men behind.
If you want better men then we must support men more. We must listen to them. We must do whatever we can to help them become better. If we don’t we only have ourselves as a society to blame.
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